Evolution…

  Don’t worry, it’s not THAT evolution I’m talking about. I’m talking about the evolution of our HAIR at different points of the journey. It really is amazing.

 

  You start with deciding not to relax anymore or straighten your hair. You are just sick of it and you are ready to embrace what you were born with, knowing that it is perfect just as it is..  You probably feel pretty confident at this point. You know what you want, and right now..Your hair… Is EASY.. Yes, it’s still relaxed to the scalp!!! But you feel natural already and you are EMPOWERED! All your products still work, all your techniques still work.. You are doing great!  Kudos!

 

  Then that new growth starts getting longer and you hit a big snag. Your products probably still work, but you notice those roots are a little difficult to deal with. Still, your new growth isn’t that long…

 

  And then it IS LONGER.. Now.. Not everyone has this experience. some people just big chop at this point. Get it over with. But some don’t want the no hair look, so they do what is called transitioning. And all that is, is growing out your relaxer until you have enough hair to comfortably cut it off. Still some never really “big” chop. They do a series of mini chops, trims really. And that is fine too. Do what ever makes you comfortable. Just stick with it. It will be worth it..

 

  If you’re transitioning, your journey has a whole different set of hardships. You have two extremely different textures and as time goes by, if you’re not careful, you start looking a little busted. You’ve got poofy roots and smooth ends. Products that work on the bottom, don’t work on the curly part. So now you gotta find a product that works with BOTH textures.. But as you stick with it, you find a way to deal, and all is calm….

 

  Then you do your chop… And all HELL breaks loose!!! Your hair looks dry, not weighed down by the relaxed ends your curls look different. There may be no real curls to speak of! And your product that worked on both textures? Sh*t you may as well toss all that crap cause it is just doing NOTHING now!!!  It’s terrible!! You’ve researched and searched, but still it’s very difficult! Don’t worry though. You’ll get it. Soon your hair is use to being natural, your moisture levels are up, you’ve found your products and techniques, and you are looking FIERCE!!

 

 Then…. It grows on you… It gets longer and more settled… And some of the products don’t work anymore… But worry not, you just take those out and you’re probably fine…..

 

  Then two products don’t work together… One makes your hair hard and dry and dull and just NO!!!  The other makes it oily or hard or something.. And it’s just… WRONG! You’re shedding, your hair is tangled. Your TWA only took 10 minutes to wash and detangle, now it’s taking you an HOUR to do what took 10 minutes just a few months ago. You just wanna go hide, or chop again…. Or go back to the creamy crack (relaxing.) And it just get’s WORSE WITH EACH PASSING WEEK!!!  You may cope by putting it away. Just braiding it up and wearing a wig, or straightening it with heat. Or just twisting/braiding it up and wrapping it away.. But you DO cope and come out the other side.

  Congrats!! You just made it through the awkward phase! So it’s all smooth sailing now, right? Your products are working well, your hair has grown out, looking good, you’re getting complements. You are doing well Diva!!!

 

  But now… Products are STILL failing.. Now you don’t freak out anymore, you just mix them differently or eliminate what you don’t need. If you need more products, you research and make a careful decision on what to try. You know of trial and error and you go about it in an intelligent manner. You may find you need LESS products though you have MORE hair! How sweet is that?  Some products that had stopped working- or never worked for you- are starting to work better for you now maybe. Super sweet you didn’t toss them, eh?

 

  When I first went natural in 2005, I just stopped relaxing. My last relaxer was April 30, 2005. I kinda knew I didn’t want to relax anymore with that relaxer, but I hadn’t really decided. My decision came around  July of that year. And I was going to grow my locs. My mind was made up. I had no idea what to do with my loose natural hair. It was so tangly and rough.. I just wanted to lock it up.. It seemed to be MADE for locs! I still believe my hair is the perfect hair for locs, because I have to literally do NOTHING to it for it to loc. I can grow fully mature locs in like 5 months! (See my Fotki, if you don’t believe me!) My hair just loves to groove on itself and that, along with shedding is what locs are. (And y’all hear me whining aobut my shedding!!) So, I started them August 27, 2005. And other than the fights with DH over them, it was so easy. I probably looked like a tore up CHICKEN to some people, but I was in that mind frame. Once I set my mind to something.. Fu*k you, I’m GOOD with it! LoL!! All I saw was my future locs and how awesome they were gonna be with each passing year. I even loved them when they were just little nappy balls in a fro! I… loved… my… HAIR! And it was the first time that EVER happened. To this day, I do not regret starting my journey with locs. It may seem backwards, but it was perfect for me.

 

  Fast forward 5 years, I started wondering what my loose hair was like. I mean, I’d seen it as a child but briefly before my mom presses it straight. She’d always said I had beautiful hair, and it was long and thick. I wanted that back.. So, in April of 2011, I started the process of picking them out. It took an hour per loc, as they were about 18″+ long by now. It was tedious, but on May 21 I picked my last loc. I had 9 left, but I just chopped those. I couldn’t sit for another 9 hours picking. My hands hurt too bad, and no body else was ending my locs. So, I finished it.

 

  And now the FUN began.. It was not like my locs. My locs were instantly easy. But my loose hair, in addition to being oddly shaped due to the chopping of the back locs, was a pickle. But I was up for it. DH hated my new cut because it was uneven and oddly shapped, but I kept trimming and shaping it up. Finally I had a cut. He said it looked like a boy, but I liked it.. I felt it was cute. My curls were pretty nice, though my hair was short the first time in years. Still it was so easy. I just wash, condition, quickly detangle and put my products in. Very easy… I’d leave some Aussie in and oil, then gel.. Later I added a lotion to the mix.. Made my hair white as hell, but it dried clear.

 

  Then my hair was getting longer. I really didn’t notice it much, but others did. What I DID notice is with each passing month my hair was harder to detangle and used MUUUUUCH more conditioner. I couldn’t do my little style anymore, so I went to the puff. And the puff worked well. It is STILL my go to style. But now my products were working ok, but I decided to start eliminating products. the lotion was the first to go, my hair was instantly better… It just wasn’t doing what I thought it was supposed to do. So out it went.

 

  Then one day.. It just came to me.. My gel is a curl activator. When I actually had the process in my hair, I used this product alone. I may grease my scalp, but my hair was just the gel.. And I tried it. (No scalp greasing!)… And my hair… Was… BEAUTIFUL!! Shiny, had movement, perfect curls. I was FLOORED!! And I stopped leaving in conditioner and just using gel.. No oil actually at first. But there was still an issue. STICKINESS!!! So I was rinsing every 2 days or so to try to cut down on that. And it was working, but my hair started to dry out. Honestly, my gel is so water soluable it CAN be completely rinsed away with just water for the most part. With it was my moisture. So I had to find a better way.

 

 Then I was on Naturally Curly and read a tip from another Naturalista. She said she put oil over her activator to keep it from drying out. So I said… I’m gonna try that…

 

  BAM! No stickiness!!! For some reason, it even dried faster! My curls were perfectly formed and no stickiness!!!! HEAVEN!!

 

  And I’ve been doing this every since. My hair loves it, it’s growning.. Even starting to hang a little bit! And all this came from a decision to stop relaxing.. My Rebel evolved from a permed blog full of petroleum products.. To this beautiful natural fluffy fro you see today..

 

  And this is when you get cocky.. You’ve got it now.. I’m coming up on a year loose.. But I’m sure Rebel is still growing and evolving….

 

I just hope I can evolve with her. 😀

 

OK.. Done rambling.. :p

 

11:11

 

Jen 😀

Advertisements

3/1/12- Preference…

3/1/12- Preference…

When it comes to things like hair and complexion, preference is a hot button. If you get someone saying I like light skinned girls/guys or silky curls, and God forbid BOTH, they will get a side eye so severe it may get stuck! I get pissed when I hear this. And I AM light skinned with what some may (some may not, who gives a sh’t?!) say “good hair”, and it still hits a nerve to hear a guy say this. I think it would be MORE acceptable to me for a guy to say he likes dark skin and “kinky” hair. SHORT hair!! I wouldn’t be mad at him. But the other way.. Just sounds like slave mentality to me. Or better yet, he just likes WOMEN. No matter the hair, skin, size- whatever.

But is that fair? What if someone says “I only like white cars.” or “I only wear tennis shoes.” Now car brands are a hot button. I like Toyotas because they last forever and get great gas mileage. 100,000 mile is just the half way point in the life of a ‘yota. Am I saying we make total crap in America? Well, I won’t go there. :p

But the point is, why can’t men have a preference in they type of woman they like. Or people have a particular type of hair they like. Probably because they are so snooty about it. Not to mention they NEVER have what they want you to have. It’s always the BLACKEST bastard that wants a light skinned, mixed or ASIAN girl! AND makes a big deal over every light piece of ass that walks in the building!! They don’t care how she is, just WHAT she is. It’s actually kinda insulting. The fattest bastard wants a skinny or “fit” girl. Maybe they want something extremely different than they are or from their own mom. DH said he liked dark skinned small women because big light skinned women reminded him of his mom and aunts and sister. Being a big light skinned woman myself, that was awkward. >_<

There is just so much unacceptable weirdness in people's minds. We have to change our way of seeing things. Our way of thinking. I have no preference in skin or hair. My DH happens to be light skinned with 3b/c curls- but 0b in the top cause it's all gone. LoL! Did he get picked because he was high yella? Nope. He was just chosen because he was him. He could have been dark with a stiff fro and he'd be just as chosen. So…

Anyway, these are just some of the things I spend my day thinking about.

11:11

Jen 😀

Wednesday 12/7/11- Swing and a Miss!

Wednesday 12/7/11- Swing and a Miss!

For every complement I get, there is also some hurtful remark. Well not always, but sometimes. Yesterday after work, a friend of mine was complementing my hair. Well, in our so called enlightenment, we don’t apposed ta take dis as a complement, but I know she meant it as one. She said I still had my “baby hair” and that it looked like her 2 year old’s hair. At first she though I had a “kit” or s texturizer I think she meant, and after telling her I didn’t, that’s when she started gushing over it. So we talked hair for about a good 5 or 10 minutes, then parted ways. Well I made the mistake of telling DH about it. But of course I don’t see my hair as baby hair. Rebel is FULLY grown folks hair! LoL! But I let him feel around the different textures. He said it was soft. He is SLOWLY warming up to my hair, mainly because it’s growing out more now. So the insults have stopped. However if I buy a product, he gets mad. And all my HG products are under $6!! SERIOUSLY?!! He has no IDEA how lucky he is!! I am a natural on a budget! A TIGHT budget! But you wanna trip over- you know what, that ain’t even the point. The POINT is he’s not insulting me anymore.

At least about the hair. Next thing.. Now I’m getting FAT! Now what man would be STUPID enough to tell his woman this? Apparently MINE!

How did this come up, you may ask. Was I fishing for complements? No. I was looking at my pinky fingers because one of them HURTS like the dickens and I’m not sure why. But I made the mistake of saying “Damn I got some small ass pinkies!” Them thangs BONY!

He goes “Your whole hand small.” ok. So far no harm. No foul. But as you all know, DH needs to stop talking at least 1 sentence earlier than he does. But, of course he keeps talking. “That’s why I always said YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE SO BIG”. Yeah. One sentence earlier. 🙂 It was SO dumb, I was almost not even insulted. I was more like “No hell he didn’t.”

Now, I’m the first to admit, I could lose a few. But I ALSO know that I’ve seen worse. And I STILL get hit on EVERYDAY! So it must not be too bad, BUT I was just telling my friend I need to shape up. But the issue is, was that really called for? I’d get if I was getting the “big head” and you needed to dish out some truth. But the convo has nothing to do with looks, hair, OR weight. And you just come all up out the damn blue with how big my ass is! Lovely. Just a natural talent for saying the wrong sh*t.

Well at least he had the common sense to change the subject before he REALLY screwed up, eh.

I don’t know. I prolly should be watching my weight more what with all the weight related diseases that run in my family. And if it was for my health that he said it, I’d prolly still be mad but at least it was out of concern. But it was just for “looks”. And I don’t wanna hear “Well he has a right to his opinion and every one has likes and dislikes.” F*CK that. Because first off, he’s not as open to criticism as he is to give it. Second, I was FATTER when we met. Ya ass had 13 years to get rid of my fat ass if it was such a damn deal breaker. I understand (no I don’t) if I was 100lbs when we met, now I’m 200. But I was 245 when we met, now I’m 200! So. Yeah. That’s why I don’t wanna hear it. Here’s the straight up truth. If your mate repulses you that much, don’t sit there an bad mouth them about how “not worthy” they are. FIND SOME ONE ELSE!!!! It’s best for BOTH OF YOU!

Ok. Rant over I guess. 😀

11:11 If you don’t like it, don’t LOOK! :p

Jen 😀