Confusion over Posts

Possible Confusion over Posts…

  You may wonder why I have multiple posts going through in one day back to back. (YOu may know, or you may not care, but if you do….) Sometimes they are not in order even!! Well, this is because I compose my blog post on the notepad of my phone, then copy and paste to my WordPress app once I get a good signal. Currently I THINK.. After many years, AT&T are working on their antennas so maybe sooner or later I’ll have a signal and can just post directly to wordpress.

That’s basically the long and the short of it.. It’s also why some post seem to end early or unfinished. I’ll have lost my train of thought and instead of rambling (More than usual.) I’ll just end it short and start over, but I really want those thoughts that did get put down to go in.

So.. That’s the explaination.. 🙂
Jen

Thursday 10/13/11

Thursday 10/13/11

For some reason I’m not sure what to blog about today, so I’m just gonna ramble and let the muses take me! LoL! What’s going on? Well I’m working Saturday. Not sure how the HELL they keep talking me into coming in!! Especially when I’m not SCHEDULED!! What the hell? I’m not doing anything else. 🙂 Anyway, that means wash day will be Sunday again. Nothing special. Like I said, no real ideas. 🙂 Just a nice ramble.

I’m still working on becoming a better person spiritually and mentally. This whole cutting has taken on a WHOLE new dimension with the discovery of how easy it is with scissors. Yeah. I gotta get a damn grip cause I basically gave myself a sleeve of cuts. So I have to get it together. Now I gotta keep finding long sleeved shirts- and I don’t really have that many. Suuuucks… This time I just DID it. I wasn’t really upset or anything. I just did it. That is really troubling. Kinda scary. I am really messed up..

But this is all gonna change. That’s why I’m blogging about it. Kinda putting it all out there in hopes that it will encourage me to get BETTER! If you’ll recall I said the first step is letting go. Detachment.. Let go and let GOD- whatever you choose to call it. I’ve been breathing through uneasy feelings. Through pain. When I catch myself dwelling on things I can’t change, I just take a deep breath and try to move forward. It’s not much, but it’s a start.

Well I guess since I don’t have a well formed thought for a post, I’ll end this here. 🙂

11:11 CHANGE it!

Jen 😀

Shampoo… Does Rebel Secretly LIKE it?

OK, so last week I shampooed with my sulfate free, oil ladened shampoo.  My hair looked better, but this week, it still felt kinda icky.. So I decided to go guns blazing and shampooed with a SULFATE shampoo. I used White Rain mixed with Suave Naturals Tropical coconut shampoo. (I have  SOOOOO much White Rain shampoo because DH loves it so I bought like a box of 6 about 3 years ago. Needless to say we still have plenty.) There were no oils in it, but I just let that lather work. I scrubbed my scalp and actually stroked my hair a bit to break down any funky stuff that might be in my  strands. I mean I didn’t SCRUB the dickens out of it, but I did get the shampoo into my hair. I rinsed it out.. I was shocked.. It didn’t feel stripped. It felt CLEAN, but not stripped. Afterwards.. My hair was soft.. REALLY soft. I almost felt like I didn’t need CONDITIONER.. Of course I DID condition for several hours under a plastic cap. When I washed it out, my hair was like BUTTER… Then to add MORE, I put a little Aussie in as a leave in, A little APOM Moisturizing Lotion, I sealed with coconut oil, and decided to load up with Long Aid….

 

Now.. My hair is short right now.. But I’m going to have  to buy Long Aid by the TRUCK LOAD once it grows. LoL!!

 

  Anyway, I decided to load my hair with it.. Initially I was going to just moisturize with it and load my hair with Smooth n Shine.. You know give it a nice shingle with it. Just to give it another chance, after last weeks flop. Well, more of a YAY!!! Awwww… Situation.. I think Eco Styler will be a  good product to try next. I wanted to try it with Shea Moisture, but I don’t think that product is for me, with all the protein and all. Pity.. Sounded promising.. Anyway, loaded with Long Aid, after a SULFATE SHAMPOO and deep condition for I think maybe…. 4 hours..

 

Rebel…. Is…. GORGEOUS!! I mean the curls are poppin’ and everything.. She’s about 85% dry right now and my hair is still soft and defined. There is NO HOLD.. Most curl activators have no hold. Just lots of definition and moisture. Shine.. No hold.. I’d love some hold and a product that makes my hair look like this, but not be tacky or wet… But for now, with my TWA I guess it will work. 🙂 At least until it STOPS working. LoL! All yall know how that works. What works today, may not work tomorrow. So I GUESS I should enjoy it while it works, Right?

 

  OK,  as I’ve been telling you guys I’ve started wearing my hair out at work, and I haven’t gotten any real insults. Most of the black people actually LIKE my hair. That fact surprised me to DEATH! One of the reasons I didn’t feel like showing my hair off at work was the “fear” of ridicule.. And all that negativity was just something I just didn’t feel up to. BUT after years of telling people they should flaunt their natural hair and be fierce and bold with it.. But I wasn’t doing that. So I just took the plunge and I’m glad I did… Everything’s going great….

 

And in come the Asian woman… LoL! I hate to put it like that, but that’s what happened… There is this Philippino woman, actually there are 2. One married to a black man, and the one married to a white guy.. This is the one married to a white guy… ANYWAY…  She notices me talking to a friend of mine in the hallway and he was all up in my hair and she comes out and she’s like “Jennifer, you cut your hair?” I’m like “Yeah. About 2 months ago.” And she didn’t really say anything.. But she had this look on her face like… “Why? Why would you want THAT hair..” Or… Just.. This frown of.. Terrified, confusion on her face that was like.. Honestly I just looked at her.. Anyway my friend was like “Girl touch it.” And she was like “Uh Uh…” Just… I just laughted at her ass. I’m like well DAMN.. We just shook our heads and kept going. It really wasn’t an… “Insult” per se… But she’s really into long hair, as she has very long hair and is always swinging it about.. And she wasn’t against the locs… Maybe it is just the SHORT that she didn’t like.. Because she didn’t say it was nappy or nothing.. Just.. It was more disapproval.. And I think it was.. I don’t know.. Though she works with all black people.. I don’t think she really knows much about us.. And I doubt she’s EVER seen a black person’s natural hair- especially a woman’s… I hate cultural differences..

 

  So.. Do I feel bad about my hair now that I don’t have Oriental approval? Chile PLEASE! I don’t care what that trick thinks about me or anyone else really.. I don’t want to be publicly ridiculed anymore than anyone else. BUT these people don’t RULE me.. And by these people, i don’t mean Asians, I mean PEOPLE on Earth.. I’d still be natural if they all hated it.. Maybe I’d cover it up more, but I’d still keep it natural and eventually I’d still just start wearing it out.. Maybe I’d have waited til it was longer.. I don’t know..

 

Anyway, I think DH is getting use to it too. Since I started wearing it out at work, and haven’t come home in TEARS yet.. Maybe he’s seeing that other people accept it or at least deal with it… And he may feel he’s been wrong. I don’t know.. Maybe he’ s just taking time to think of my Insult of the Week. I still gotta get it.. I’ll probably get it tomorrow if he’s off work. :p Plus I think he likes it’s GROWING!! He said it wouldn’t, but it is.. so… Yay.. 😀

 

Well, that’s it for now.

 

Ciao.

 

Jen 😀

Hold….

I decided to use a gel with hold. I love Long Aid, but it is so wet and the curls are only a one day thing. I guess If I baggie my hair will still be moist and curly, but I found out the hard way that I HAVE  to apply more product. I can’t just go. There was no such thing as multi day hair really because I had to reapply the Long Aid and be sticky everyday!!!

  So I decided to give my Smooth n Shine one more try. And I must say, my curls were popping!! I layered it on top of- Actually I changed my leave in to Aussie Moist. My Vo5 was just not working like it should and I just said screw it! If Aussie is too heavy I’ll just rinse it out. It was PERFECT! From now on Aussie is my co-washer, deep conditioner, detangler, AND leave in!! It is really a miracle product!! For me anyway.. Anyway, I shingled Long Aid and Smooth n Shine Gellations styling gel through my hair in pretty small sections. I didn’t worry about rewetting except where it had gotten BONE dry. And the curls were beautiful. My hair actually had movement. Though it was my bad because I wear my hair more fro like than bob like and after shingling it was just a hot mess of a STYLE, but the curls were awesome. Next time I’ll “place” my hair likeI want it to be in the end… Anyway, i took pictures but they don’t do it justice!! It was PURTY!

OK, so multi day hair, right? Ummm… Not exactly… I decided that baggying would put too much water in the curls and they’d fall out… So I slept in my satin bonnet… And when I woke up… DESERT dry hair!! Curls were more waves.. But not those beautiful beach waves everyone clammers about.. Just… Frizzy, dry, dull hair.. The same as if I don’t baggy with Long Aid.. Boo!!

There was no crunch, so that was good. And I think the style would have been actually MORE preserved if I HAD baggied! Plus the moisture would have off set some of that wheat protein in BOTH products. Next time I’m going for blue label Long Aid and try to find a protein free/light styling gel.. But this gave me a little hope for hold type gels. Like Eco Styler. Which mean as soon as I can get around some, I’m SURELY buying! LoL!

As for my quest for multi day hair… I’m not sure it there is such a thing for Rebel. Maybe she just has to be arranged on a daily basis to be happy. I don’t know. Then what IS multi day hair exactly? In my opinion Multi day hair is just that. I wash today, and I really don’t have to do anything to it for MULTIPLE days.. Just fluff and go! MAYBE around day 3 you’d have to apply something to refresh.. MAYBE!! I think I’ll have more multi day luck when Rebel is longer and can be pinned up instead of just rollin’ in a bonnet all night.

Well, this was a short post. I just wanted to let yall know that even though this blog has become a little Afrocentric and Freedom Figher-esque, it’s still the blog of a Naturalista and she is still on a quest for great LONG LASTING hair.. Hmm.. Maybe I should post a holy grail list.. I think I will. Why not? It’s short but might help someone.. 😀

Later Chickadees..

Jen 😀

Thursday 7/14/11- Hang…

Thursday 7/14/11- Hang…

A common question among naturals- especially “black” naturals- is “when will my hair start to hang?” Usually meaning hang on it’s own. I wonder that at times. With locs, they would hang with a little wetting and coaxing after 6 months. They were roughly chin length. However you know locs retain all the hair so they’re HEAVIER than loose hair. Which means the weight will make them hang. It took them about the first year for them to just hang on their own. Or once they were shoulder length. Like Brushing my shoulders.

But my loose hair is not as heavy. In fact.. It’s EXCESSIVELY light. And with very thick, stiff, CURLY strands… It ain’t bending easy!! When I was relaxed- and you know processed hair is busted down to NOTHING!!- it didn’t hang on it’s own. It took lots of brushing and combing and PRAYING to get it to just lay down!! (There’s a reason I call her Rebel, folks.) So now natural and VEEEEERY curly… My hair will likely never just hang all by itself. I mean, I’ll be able to “finger” it down at some point. With a little water and product I can finger it down NOW in the longer areas. BUT we wanna know when it will hang on it’s own. Like “slick it and forget it” hang. I believe my loose hair would have to be double the length of my locs to even think about just hanging. Maybe even longer. My locs were past my bra band.. So.. That gives you some idea. Then Rebel grows up. The direction up!! Then out… So…. Yeah.

Hair goals. I’d like to have a decent fro by December 21st. That’s 6mos loose. I want to have grown out the whole bad hair cut and have a nice lil’ fro. And by June 21 next year have a full fro. And just let Rebel Get fiercer with each passing year. 🙂 Simple.. No inches. Nothing unrealistic. Just want my lil baby to grow big and healthy. 🙂

And final thoughts. I love I can have the Naturally Curly Frizz Forecast on my iPhone. But I hate… HATE that they wanna call everything 3c or less “curls”.. But once you cut that 4 corner.. KINKS. I’m like what the fuck?!!! So.. My curls are not “good” enough to be classified as “curls”. They gotta be kinks.. Like them bitches fuckin’ up plans and shit. They “kinks”. I like the app, but that kinda rubs me the wrong way right there. Why the separation? Maybe they think that’s how we feel about our curls. I don’t know. Maybe I’m too sensitive.. I think I was a Black Panther in a past life. LoL!

Ciao!

Jen 😀

Wednesday 7/13/11- The Looking Glass

Wednesday 7/13/11- The Looking Glass

I finally got a pick AND a hand mirror. Which means now I can see the back of my head at last!!

And I’ve noticed some…. Things…

Firstly, I have a really…. REALLY!!!! Big head… But I knew this. Secondly.. I have a LONG hairline. U mean.. My WHOLE big head… Is HAIR!!! Guess I should be happy to have so much hair. And I am.. And I’ve known all this since I was 12. 🙂

Thirdly.. (Y’all liking all these “ly”s? 😀 ) My hair is rounding out. It’s not as flat in the back anymore. It’s not even as flat after a night of sleeping on it all night. That REALLY made me happy!! Cause if it’s not so bad packed and undone. It’s better after it’s done…

Which brings me to FOURTHLY!! (:p) I can officially hold my head up in PUBLIC!! I don’t have to be worried I look like a FREAK from behind!! And DH can’t pull that “It looks so ugly” shit on me anymore!! Because I can ACTUALLY SEE THE BACK NOW!! I got me a BIG ass mirror too. Make SURE I can see. LoL! So now, when it’s ACTUALLY busted, I can handle that. :p

I have this buddy at work who’s locked and keeps saying “I’m too mad at you” for cutting my hair. I’m like… “why?” and ultimately. “SO?”. I really do not care. People get these hair idols and they act like they OWN the person’s hair!! I have hair idols too. DenimPixie, Taren916, CynthiaRT- I think that’s her YouTube name! BUT I got sense enough to know their hair is THEIRS not mine! And if they cut it (Taren did cut hers and it’s uber cute!) that’s their business! They are still beautiful women and I STILL love their hair!! Don’t get it twisted I’ve not always been as sensible as I am now. I use to act like dreads can’t be cut. And “You ain’t no real dread if you cut it off” and “bullshit blahdy blah, boo hoo” But I realize. It may not be just hair. Don’t be stupid. It’s a part of your body. Yo’ arm ain’t just an arm is it? BUT. It is mine or yours. And you do what you want with it. Everybody just needs to friggin’ chill the FRAG out!

Well, that’s my time. See ya later Gucci Gals. :p

Jen 😀

Tuesday 7/12/11- Not sure..

Tuesday 7/12/11- Not sure..

So far my 7/11’s have been “meh” at best. They gave my position to someone else- which means a pay cut (BOO!) BUT it also means I don’t have to stay late anymore and get fussed at. (Yay?) I guess it’s one of those win/lose situations. HOWEVER, it has driven me o do better. I have to get out of this chicken shit. I mean, it’s gotten to the point where each plant is worse and worse and the people are getting to be the worst people you can imagine. The worst part of it all is I’m changing. And not for the better. I feel my spiritual growth is at a stand still and my soul is being CHOKED to death by this place. I feel trapped and just… Run down by this place. There are good things that happen, but as soon as you think things are looking up, some asshole just fucks it all up for you. I urge all the little kiddies out there to please. PLEASE stay in school and actually strive to do better. Because this is not the life you want…. Unless you are one of the asshole, in which case stay the course. 🙂

I got my first compliment yesterday on the new cut. At least I think it was. A girl said it was “cute”. And that I had nice hair. BUT that apparently it’s nice because it doesn’t look “natural”. I kinda understand what she meant, but it was still funny. It’s weird. Most women think they can’t go natural because their hair would look “nappy”. Honestly, I think “nappy” is as outdated as the term “coloured”. And as offensive as “Nigger”. And not because nappy is ugly. It’s because the term is derogatory. It’s saying something is “wrong” with my hair. And darlin’ ain’t SHIT wrong with my hair!! OR YOURS!! beautiful isn’t just one thing. So, I told her that most people’s hair is not as “bad” as they think and that her hair is probably very pretty. Still, she said as long ad they make perms she’d keep getting them. So I left it alone. I think no less of her. I like her. 🙂 She’s cool. 😀

I look at my hair and wonder what I would have thought of it when I was.. Say.. 15. I gotta go WAYYYY back! LoL! I mean saw it on someone else? I can’t say. I’d be picking at how funny her head is shaped. LoL! I am well aware of the fact that I have a FLAT ass head! I mean… TOTALLY flat! I was gonna elaborate, but it might be offensive to someone. LoL! I ain’t gonna go there, cause I don’t wanna spread stereotypes about races and the way their heads are shaped. :p ANYWAY!! Next time you see SOMEONE with a flat ass head in the back, just know it’s probably kinda like that. :p

As for texture… I was in the mindset of straighter, longer, silkier is better, so where as I may not have went straight to “she need a perm” I probably wpul have hoped I didn’t have “that” under my perm. Sick.. I know. What’s sicker is IT’S MY HAIR!! LoL! And I’m happy with it! And it only took 18 years to fully appreciate it. Yeah.. Gotta give myself the side eye.

Anyway, I guess that’s it for today. It’s about time to go in.

Later, Chickadee’s! 😀

Jen :p