3/29/12- Why Are They So Afraid?
People are in love with natural hair these days.. On YOU! But they are always afraid their hair won’t look like yours. Hell, even other people will warn them that it won’t! But most people have never seen their natural hair. Most started with relaxers at such a young age that all they know of their “real hair” is the new growth- which is usually thicker and heartier than the chemically broken down hair they see daily. So, in their minds it MUST be just hard and TERRIBLE!!!
I know. I’ve been there. When I first decided to go natural I was so certain my hair was awful. I couldn’t comb it or brush it, so… It was nappy hair fit for nothing but locs. Not that I regret my locs. I had them for almost 6 years and loved them dearly. What I do regret is thinking my hair was hideous because I didn’t know how to make it look like it was supposed to. I didn’t know anything past relaxer. I knew more than most. I knew about keeping it clean and conditioned and “moisturized”. But that was it. Magazines taught you how to take care of white folks hair and a relaxer. All I knew of natural hair was how to straighten it and loc it up. And I was so done with straight hair. So I locked it. Plus I wanted to lock anyway. 🙂 And as I said, I loved being locked.
But now I love my loose hair. And it doesn’t look like I thought it would. I had 2 ideas. First case scenario, it was just horribly NAPPY, hard, bristly. Yes, I thought like everyone else does. That my hair would look a hot ass mess. Second, big open curls. Hell, my family was always going on and on about I had that “good hair.” That’s what good hair means right? Well… Maybe. But who cares? We all new ne-ga-roes now, right? (More like YEAH right. :p ) Anyway, that means there’s no good or bad hair. But when others say “good hair”…. I don’t care what you say. You know what they mean. Well, it isn’t big open curls, but not boar bristly either. It’s kind of in between. I have beautiful, but small silky, but wiry curls. My hair is a contradiction. LoL! And I’m fine with that. 🙂
I think the fear is all about the stigma of being too…. Geez. There isn’t a PC way of saying this, is there? “Negro”. Especially here in the south. I think there are still some people who think they can “pass” with straight hair. Or at least someone will think they aren’t 100% African. That some how straight hair will make them “above” the average Negro. It’s conditioned in our minds from a very young age. The kid with the good hair gets bragged on and praised. (And don’t be light skinned to boot!!! They act like you are The Buddha, Dali Lama, and JESUS all rolled into one!) Now, in our family, it was pretty much the same as far as that, but darker children weren’t seen as ugly or anything. There was no shade thrown on dark skinned people. Mostly because we were all different shades. My mon is very light skinned, her mom was very dark. So, being such a mixed up bunch, no one got a “pass” for skin tone. Plus we all pretty much have curly hair. So, nothing particularly special about that either.
I think in off track, it ain’t even that kinda post, and y’all know I’ll get ta ramblin’ and won’t get anywhere. THE POINT IS!!!! If you’re not yet natural, you don’t know what you have up there. The new growth always looks bad because you’re use to seeing all that straight hair, now you have this bushy crap growing in. But if you just let that bush grow, take care of it, it will make you very proud in the end. Your hair is just that. It’s a part of YOU, so it can’t NOT fit your face! Now, I understand not wanting short hair. I can dig that. Short hair doesn’t fit every face. I don’t look the best with short hair. It never stopped me from cutting my hair, but I know I look better with big hair if not long. Long straight hair doesn’t flatter me well either. My face is too fat for anything that just hangs down. LoL! Every STYLE isn’t flattering. When I got a “kit” many years ago, I got my hair cut SUPER short. I looked like a fat blind man. (I wore glasses then.) But my lil boy cut (DH named it that. :p ) look good to me. It was a little “funny” shaped because I cut it myself. But I think it was cute. DH hated it, but I remember it fondly. (I especially loved those 10 minutes and DONE detangling sessions. NOW??? Sh’t, 20!!!! Maybe it just FEELS like 20. LoL! I know it’s more difficult than it use to be!) But I am glad it’s growing out. I’m am impressive figure, I need impressive hair. :p LoL!!
See… I’m all off topic. I’m just gonna go. :p