Tuesday 8/16/11- Curly vs Nappy
Now all my life I’ve been told- except by a few haters- that I have “curly” hair. Or “good” hair. Personally I don’t think my hair is any better than anyone else’s. My hair is just my hair. For the longest time I hated my hair because it was course and hard to comb- and it STILL is hard to comb DRY. I know now that curly hair should NEVER be combed dry! No matter the texture. No hair past wavy should be combed dry. In my mind at that time I was so confused. Here are all these people saying I have “good” hair. But MY idea of “good” hair was type 3 hair. “Biracial” hair. And.. No matter what they said. My hair is not exactly “biracial” hair. So that lead me to start thinking “nappy” thoughts. Some where inside me I knew there was nothing wrong with my hair. But as my new growth grew, the comb would get stuck and I’d panic. Back to relaxer.
Now as a 6 year natural, I realize nappy is a state of mind. Nappy hair is just tightly curled hair. And I hate the term “nappy” because it is so negative. Same thing with “kinky”. Both make our hair sound.. “Wrong”. Like something is “off” with it. Like it’s not as “good” as the “real” curly hair. It would be ok, if it was- and I’m aware this has negative inflections too (is that even the right word?)- separate, but equal. In my mind, all hair types are like this. BUT.. I am PAINFULLY aware of the fact when some people say “kinky curly” it’s to make sure you know.. YOU KNOW.. That they’re being nice even calling that nappy shit curly. Not ALL people. Some just feel it’s descriptive. And it does paint a picture. I must admit that. If you just say curly, most people think big open curls. Say kinky-curly, you pretty much know you’re talking about AfroCurls. So, I know in describing hair some of these words have their place. And it still depends on who’s saying it!! LoL! So “kinky” can have it’s place. But I think
“nappy” needs to go the way of “nigger”- obsolete and only used by some rednecks somewhere. But if you say it in public, beat down! LoL!
Do I have better options? Well. I don’t call anyone’s hair “nappy”. Or kinky for that matter. And I certainly never use the word “nigger”. Though I do use “nigga”. A habit I must break. And you don’t have to be black either. I called my white friend one and she was like… “kaaaay…” LoL! So yeah I gotta break that habit. LoL! But the point is be the change you wanna see. So, I uplift naturals. Tell them how beautiful their hair is- THEY are! Encourage women to go natural. To be strong. To be HAPPY! To smile. It’s ok. We don’t have to be that grouchy, ghetto ass bitch they say we have to be. We are WOMEN. No different, no less than any other race.
Ok, I’m WAAAAAY off topic. I know y’all come for hair talk. But I think it’s all related. We can’t do this- make our hair accepted- if we don’t address all the other crap. You may be well adjusted, but the next brother or sister may not be. So… I’mma leave on that. Simply because my time is up. 🙂